getting going when you have no motivation

Depression is a real motivation vacuum. Finding motivation
to do something can be really difficult on the easiest of days, but when we
don’t even have the motivation to find our motivation, things get tough. I find
it particularly difficult to find motivation in the mornings, likely because my
bed is my safe place. Who wouldn’t want to stay in their warm and snuggly
cocoon?!

You don’t have to be suffering with a mental health problem
to struggle with motivation. Perhaps you’ve got a big project coming up at
work, or you’re revising for some exams, or you just really need to give the
house a spring clean. These are all things we might find difficult to get up
and do. Stress is another motivational black hole but, whilst it’s horrible to
deal with, it can be a great signal that we need to change something in our
lives to maintain a happy mind.

If you find yourself struggling, here are some tips to help
you get out of the rut and get going again.

write it down

It’s impossible to keep your entire to do list in your head,
especially when your memory is at it’s worse when you are low. Trying to juggle
all the items in a huge list can be stressful and clog up your head. Organising
them into a list will give you thinking space and allow you to work through
them logically without panicking. What’s more, being able to physically tick them
off gives us a sense of achievement and builds our confidence.

goals

Goals are tricky. People tell you to set them all the time,
but it really isn’t that simple. If they’re too easy, we won’t bother trying,
and if they’re too difficult we give up because we feel like we’ll never be
able to do it.

Large goals can be overwhelming but breaking them down into
steps can make it easier. Think about your house. ‘Clean the house’ is a big
target that could take all days and the thought of it may make us want to
hideaway and not get started. If we split it down into rooms, or even bits
within the rooms, the goal starts to look for attainable. ‘Do the washing up’
for example doesn’t sound so scary anymore. The to-do list will get longer by
doing this, but it will be much quicker to tick off those goals as you work
your way through. I find watching my list getting shorter very motivating.

If you find the idea of a long list distressing, try just
setting yourself one goal for the day. Our thoughts can spiral very quickly
when we are thinking about things we need to do; one thing can remind us of
another and before we know it, there’s a list of 20 items to do. This may
completely overwhelm you and you’ll end up getting nothing done. When we have
this feeling, our brains may feel foggy and slow.  We may find it difficult to process
information and to think things through logically. Sticking to one goal can
help us to focus and also gives us a nice little confidence boost when we
achieve it.

positive motivation

Sounds strange? You’ve probably never heard of this phrase
(I hadn’t until very recently!), but there really is such thing as positive and
negative motivation. Let’s start with what you shouldn’t be doing – negative
motivation.

Negative motivation is when we use fear to motivate
ourselves. For example, “if I don’t log into my emails this evening then they
are going to build up and there will be too much for me to manage tomorrow and
I won’t be able to relax tonight!” Booting up your laptop and starting to
respond to emails in the evening might sound productive, but in reality it
won’t leave us feeling great and won’t achieve our goal of having a relaxing
night. If you find yourself saying “if I don’t {activity} then I won’t be able
to {activity}” a lot, then you should review how you set yourself goals.
There’s no point scaring yourself into doing something, you’ll just end up
fearing it forever and that’s a vicious cycle you don’t want to end up in.  

Positive motivation allows us to think of the positive
benefits of doing something. It might feel a bit unnatural at first, but when
you get into the swing of it the results are excellent. For example, “if I go
to my yoga class tonight, I’ll be able to clear my head and I might sleep
better.” Focussing on the positives helps us to work towards our goals and
succeed in completing them.

pin down what exactly you are scared of

Fear stops us from doing things, that’s the point of it. Unfortunately,
our fear isn’t also rational are can manifest itself it many different ways.
Our anxieties about doing certain things can stop us from doing these things,
but also make us feel quite physically ill – we may even end up doing nothing
at all.

Being able to pin down exactly what it is we are afraid of
is a very important step in combatting fears. Being able to talk them through
with family, friends and professionals will mean we are able to start to rationalise
and work through them.

make it fun

You know the drill, you want the kids to tidy up their room
so you tell them to make it into a game. Easy. Well, this applies to us adults
too. If we find a way to make our task more fun, it can make us feel more
enthusiastic about tackling it. Some ideas of things I do are: listen to music,
set myself a challenge, call my mum and speak to her whilst I’m getting it done.
Taking our minds off the task and making it interesting can really help to
boost our motivation.

tell a friend

Our friends are amazing resources. They can cheer us up when
we are low and turn dark days into sunny days. By discussing your problems with
them, they will be able to support you in a number of ways. They may be in a
position to help you get the jobs done together. This is great as it halves the
tine and will take your mind off the task in hand. Having a good experience
with something may also make you feel more confident about doing it again but
on your own.  

Our friends may be able to help us problem solve while we
are not thinking so clearly. As they are on the outside of the situation, they
may have a different view on it or be able to rationalise it better. Take the
time to explore these ideas with them.

think outside the box – switch it up and don’t be afraid of change

If you have a task you do over and over again and struggle
with getting motivated every time, then there is no harm in changing it up a
bit.  Motivation, and even life in
general, involves a lot of trail and error and we can’t get everything right
the first time.

The first stage is to work out why something isn’t working.
Perhaps the goals are too hard, or we need a change of scenery. Sometimes tasks
on our to-do lists are things we should do, rather than things we actually want
to do. Try going about these jobs in a different way – it can be as simple as
doing something in the evening rather than the morning! Try talking it through
with a friend as they may be able to spot things you haven’t noticed.

plot your progress

The simplest yet most rewarding step of them all! If we are
going to take the time to write down our goals, then we should definitely be
following through by ticking them off when complete. This might be as simple as
crossing them off a list, or even making ourselves a star chart (you may laugh,
but I guarantee you love a sticker!). One of the things that sucks up our
motivation is our lack of self-belief. Being able to physically see how far you
have come proves that we can achieve things and that we are going in the right
direction.

rewards

Rewarding ourselves can be an excellent form of motivation. We
all have different ideas of what we would class as reward; this isn’t
necessarily about going out and buying something expensive every time you have
a job you don’t want to do. For example, “if I go and do the grocery shopping
now while it’s quiet, I can have an hour to myself before the kids get home
from school.” Rewarding ourselves with a little bit of me-time is an excellent
way to manage your anxiety as it lows us to calm down after the event and reset
our heads.

rest

Let’s be real, sometimes depression makes us feel like we don’t want to be motivated at all. It saps all of our energy and disrupts our sleep, and it also takes more energy to do things than it would if we didn’t have depression. It is important that we try and understand our limitations and manage our expectations. We must remember to be kind to ourselves and look after our bodies in order to be successful. Taking things one step at a time, and being fully in tune with ourselves will help us achieve that.

Mind and The Gap

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