Embracing the Not Normal

“how little of it is dedicated to the flu. She writes about typical student things: class, schoolwork, her relationship, and how life for her is generally fine…as Myrtle’s letter shows, amid such a long-lasting pandemic, there were moments when life simply went on.”

After reading the letter, I felt shamed by its tone; I have not felt my own student life ‘simply go on’. Rather it has felt like all life has been transformed into something with an entirely unanticipated (and predominantly disconcerting) shape and character. I don’t think I’m the only student to feel this way. But am I (we) really so much less resilient and incapable of coping than when others lived through a similar threat with far less in terms of technology and medical research/aid?

Within our present pandemic experience, it has already become easy to chastise oneself for not being ‘productive enough’, for not engaging in online learning properly, for not maximising on the apparent abundance of reading, mind and knowledge-enhancing time (because there is certainly a projection that this dramatic modification to daily life is a ‘gift’ or ‘opportunity’ for the student and academic community). It can sometimes feel like the communications/advice pertaining to instantly managing student life and academic work at home – implement a routine; stay permanently connected virtually, with multiple people; attend multiple online exercise classes and self-care well; be the best teacher your child ever had and continue your studies at pre-pandemic-agreed rates – are actually adding pressure to feel normality still exists and assuming such things are achievable for all students right now (which they are not). My view is that it is more helpful to acknowledge the NOT normal nature of our current context, for the sake of academic productivity and indeed (student) mental wellness. 

Extreme circumstances are magnifiers of underlying problems – even little, niggling issues or difficulties from before can intensify under the new spotlight, to the extent that they become key players in a person’s overall sense of wellbeing. It is therefore not surprising that for some students the loss of face-to-face routine and physical access to campus resources or staff create senses of disorientation, even grief; that some students will newly-scrutinize or feel different about their living arrangements and relationships in these new circumstances; that existing financial difficulties and worries increase; that worries over academic outcomes are further heightened as the job market for ‘after uni’ looks more fragile than it ever did before… Whilst none of these are mental health issues per se, they are risk factors that may push a person toward poor(er) mental health given how the impact of COVID-19 has intensified them. The impact of COVID-19 is not solely about what the disease is – it is about what it means, how it interacts with the pre-virus-existing lives being lived. It’s the ripples that matter too. 

For me, managing mental health during this pandemic therefore rests on increasing understanding of and kindness to our own selves. Self-authenticity; self-honesty; self-understanding; self-confidence; self-permission for failure; self-forgiveness – these will all aid (student) mental wellbeing over the coming days/weeks/months/years. So, should something not be achieved as intended on one day, let it go. Take one step at a time to build inner wellness. We can all develop and ultimately utilise our resilience for the benefit of ourselves and others as this pandemic runs course, but we can only do that if we know ourselves and express that honestly. The virus-induced amplification of negative emotions does not make us mentally incapable or weak – we’ve just been exposed to an extreme circumstance that quite naturally has been a shock, but that requires self-understanding and self-compassion to facilitate adaptation. 

This is still the beginning of this pandemic but ‘This Too Shall Pass’. We will be able to reach a new normal, similar to Myrtle’s ‘fine-ness’, where individual fears and anxieties will give way to the process of adaptation inherent to humans if we first learn to be honest with ourselves. 

Hi, I’m Heather. I’m currently a PhD student at Northumbria University, bringing to my studies 20 years of experience in academia (as a student, researcher and tutor, in the UK and abroad). I chose to focus my work on ‘Student Mental Health’ after having lost my brother to suicide, endured my own difficulties whilst a student, and seen the struggles of others within the academic community. I believe hearing and listening to student voices and lived experiences is key to developing approaches to, help for and improvement of student mental health and wellbeing today.